I'm bored.
I know, I know, no new news. But seriously. I've been thinking (Never a good pastime 'It's a reference')
I'm not really doing much good in this world... Now for those of you who do not KNOW me very PERSONALLY, I have a very bad/weird/wrong personality. You can claim to know me and say no I don't, but boy you have me wrong. Okay. So probably a story you've all hear many times before, but I changed many MANY times to fit into a group of people. Yet I have never managed to find an anchor, by that I mean a friend who keeps me in that group. I'm currently in self exile, simply due to the fact that many times over, I felt like I was not very....... I wouldn't say included... but neither would I say that... whatever. I jsut didn't feel like I fit in anywhere within my group. We had these little sub categories within our friendship group, and I was in none of them. Why? Because oftentimes I spent my time roaming, and meeting new people. I kept coming back to the same old group, but I never actually managed to fit in well. I was alone, rather insecure, and very terribly bored every lunch. Nobody cared really where I was or what had happened to me. So I left it at that. Anyways, I changed too much from my very first day at Kindergarten in Sydney, to even begin to comprehend who I was, and what my personality was like. All I'm trying to say is that, I look very simple and happy-go-lucky on the outside (most of the times) but honestly, inside me is a tornado of emotion even I can't understand myself. So don't think you can start assuming that you can understand me, when you clearly can't see the mental processes that go on in my head.
That brings me to my second point. My mentality. I have a very bad way of thinking. It usually starts with let's see what I can say to lighten up the mood, and ends with well that was shit. Now let's take a journey into the heart of Jae's brain, and see how it functions.
I... have murderous tendencies. I'm not joking when I say this now. I'm not saying I'm a murderer, but I have many MANY thoughts of who I might be able to kill, and how, and if I could get away with it. One thing that really doesn't help is the fact that I keep very bad grudges. If someone insults me, and it sounds like they're genuine, then I hold a very personal grudge against them. Now many grudges I forget, either because I spent too long dwelling on it, or I had held too many grudges at that time to even keep count.
So maybe I'll change that habit of mine in my SoSe assignment, or maybe I won't. Maybe I'll just write a boring report and have myself a cup of tea whilst thinking about who I hate the most. Whatever. All I want to say for today is, just let things go. There is no point in holding something over someone's head because they did something wrong. Dwelling on their past wrongdoing isn't going to fix that problem. So just move on. If you keep holding problems over somebody's head then you're bound to one day get rammed by them by an 8 tonne truck (I'm looking at you... You know who you are). So
STFU and MOVE ON. k?
kthnxbai
Peace out Girl Scouts.
P.s Don't even try to ask me about this post at school. I'm just going to look off into a certain point in the sky, refuse to answer you, and walk off. So just... Don't.
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